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Sunday, June 07, 2009

Lying to myself

I have been trying very hard to tell myself to move on. I even act as if I really have moved on in front of my friends.

But, I know I am lying to myself.

How can I move on when memories are everywhere? Hong Kong drama on DVD showing Hong Kong scenes, TV showing Macau scenes, real life scenes wherever I go with friends, all bring back good old memories.

I know I am not hopeful but I am hoping to remain as friends. It is now worse than strangers.

My heart still cries every night.


  1. loneliness gives you courage to love. it sounds weird doesnt it?

    there are many things and moments in life which are unavoidable, what is happiness without sadness? what is pain without pleasure? what is fear without courage?

    the fear of loneliness.............. i've realised that the MR lonely within me comes visit me from time to time... i was afraid of him, but this fear of lonliness soon made me realised that he ( mr lonely) gives us courage to find love or to take chances with love and never again avoid it. the fear of being alone actually turned into the strength of not wanting to be alone, the courage to fall in love again.

    We are all human beings, all learning as we grow, we are all students of a thing called " life " learn from all your right and wrong moments, learn from all your pleasures and pain, learn from your fear and courage........ learn to really live. learn to face your own inner mr lonley.

    Read this from 曹格 blog. Quite meaningful~ 加油!!!

  2. My the other time took me more than a semester to get over it and that was during my poly days. That was 9 years back.

  3. And I think this time round, I need to go crazy first.

  4. I really second what Gary Cao said (the blog's entry is the pixnet one btw).

    As frens, we will give you the support you need.

    As for you, like everyone of us, we are given time. To say in a scientific way, is 24 hours per day. The time is like a blank piece of paper, as we can do anything we want. I know that it's hard to draw something beautiful in your heart and you tried to paint something you are dwelling on. But from all this craziness you had in your mind I hope they will give you some precious lessons, enlightenment, pointers, turning point to move on. i hope time is a platform for you to heal your pain and give you the strength to start a new life awaiting for you. We still have a BIG mission called "LIFE" to carry out. There are different ways to carry out, why not the positive way? There are things which are left unexplored awaiting for us. I believe these are something which worth for us to be even happier :) Jiayou

  5. What I certainly do not understand is why nothing is replied even if it is going to affect me directly in a big way. The degree of avoidance is just way too much.

    It's like I am sending to a vacuum.

  6. And that is troubling / worrying me a lot.


Do provide your constructive comment. I appreciate that.

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