How to Relieve Boredom

The next time you are really bored stiff, here are some last ditch ideas to keep you entertained:
Pay off your MasterCard with your Visa.
Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.
When someone says, "Have a nice day," tell them you have other plans.
Send yourself a CandyGram.
Have a tea party with your pets.
Make a list of things to do that you have already done.
Put your toddler's clothes on backwards and send him to school as if nothing was wrong.
Write checks with Roman numerals.
Write "Out to lunch" on your forehead.
Leaf through a National Geographic and draw clothes on everybody.
Drive to the store in reverse.
Start a nasty rumor and see if you recognise it when it comes back to you.
Read the dictionary backwards and look for hidden messages.
Bill your doctor for time spent in the waiting room.
Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they're in jail.
Make up a language and stop someone to ask for directions.
Write a short story using alphabet soup.
Talk to your fish.
Kill roaches with a monkey wrench while playing Wagnerian arias.
Start conversations with people that start with, "Did you ever wonder why..."
Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
Buy a complete set of Transformers. Play with them loudly. If people comment, tell them with a straight face, "They're more than meets the eye."